Don't be so uptight?

Baristas at Barnes and Noble are way too friendly. Tomorrow, I started this blog exactly 11 months ago sitting in the exact same seat I'm sitting in now with no intentions of finding inspiration from the ceramic tiled floor of a Barnes and Noble Starbucks. But that's exactly what I found last December and that's exactly what I'm finding now.

Tinkershlinkershankslansplash.

That's the best way I can describe the sound of a delicate teacup falling from the wooden bookcase next to the "Pick Up Order Here" bar. A petite blond woman had knocked it off and is now smiling her embarrassment off as she grasps her brown shoulder bag and bends daintily to pick up the rolling pieces. Her friends stare at her.

"Oh," she whimpers like a mouse. "I'm, I'm so sorry." She says to the barista. I really do feel sorry for the woman. Its never pleasant to be the object of a situation where everyone around you is paralyzed either by the lingering memory of the time they were the ones who knocked the glass off the shelf or an innate desire to never be associated with something so embarrassing.

(Okay....that last sentence didn't come out the way I had hoped. But I've been off from writing for 6 months. Give me a break and give me some time to warm up. If you haven't noticed, my voice is changing and its a little difficult to hold onto this snarky tone.)

Anyway...the blond haired barista bent down to pick up the pieces and said, "Its okay...they fall off all the time."

Do they? I wonder. Because obviously I come here a lot and I've never seen or heard a delicate tea cup hit the ceramic tile floor the way that one did until today. I think the barista just lied. All for the sake of some lady's feelings who is still walking away with her down, desperate to get home and laugh as she tells her husband what she did.

Life, its a funny thing. Don't get mad at me for pointing out the obvious. Just sit back and laugh. Because that's what I would do if the same thing happened to you.

Multiculturalism is cool

Okay....first, I really wish this woman would stop singing in Barnes and Noble. It's really annoying. I don't know if she's trying to sing her kid to sleep, impress the man sitting next to her, or hope that Simon Cowel is hiding in the American History section, looking for the next American Idol.

Anyway, Barnes and Noble seems to be a hot bed for random crap. That and places like Wal-Mart.

When I say, "like Wal-mart," I actually mean "Walgreens." The fact that they both contain the word "wal" puts them in the same category in my brain.

I spent the first 12 days of January in Denver, Colorado at a conference. One night, I went to dinner with my friend Katie (hi Katie!) On the way back to the hotel, we stopped at Walgreens to pick up a few things I had forgotten for my trip. The line at the cash register was unusually long so another worker offered to check me out at the cosmetic counter.

"I can check you out over here!" she said in what I imagine an Argentinian accent to sound like (no, I'm not being culturally sensitive here).

Katie and I walk to the cosmetic counter and I set my things down.

"Oooooo, I like your purse!" said the Argentinian cashier about my bright turqoise-blue purse.

"Thanks!" I said. "It was a Christmas present."

"Yes, very pretty color. They go nice together!" she said, pointing to my mustard yellow wallet.

I smiled and handed her the money.

"Oh! And you're earings! Those are very nice."

"Thanks!" I said. "They were actually a birthday present." (My birthday just happens to be one week after Christmas).

"Oooooh," she says, handing me my change. "You are so popular!!"

AndI lost it. Language barriers and awkward multicultural interactions are the best.

I burst out laughing as we walked out of Walgreens, as did Katie.

Last year me and my friends went to Haiti for Spring Break. I recently learned that everytime my friend Betsy introduced herself, the Haitians snickered because the word "bet" means "beast of burden" in Haitian Creole.

Essentially, she was walking up to people saying, "Hi! My name is cow!"

Last week I emailed a Chinese girl to see if she would be interested in helping out with Bridges International. Bridges is Campus Crusade's ministry to international students. This g

irl, Ying (pronounced "Wendy" in English...hehe...) was on staff in China and is interested in being involved in our movement at MU.

"Oh yes!" she responded. "I would love to be a part of The Bridge!"

If you find yourself bored and lacking humor in your life...look around. If you're surrounded by white people, that is the problem. Get yourself some international friends and they will be sure to brighten your day!

stuff that happens

Let me tell you about something I read at Barnes and Noble on Monday. A woman in Massachusetts was cooking Thanksgiving dinner when her daughter went into labor. The mother called 911, but the baby was already crowning so the paramedics had to talk her through the birth of her grandchild!

Now isn't that sweet...grandma got to deliver her very own grandbaby on Thanksgiving!

Right now your probably smiling on the inside, holding your hand to your heart, and if you're really emotional, you might even be dabbing a few tears from your eyes. But before you breakdown completely, let me relay a few more details of the story:

Remember when I said that grandma was cooking Thanksgiving dinner when her daughter went into labor? Well...she didn't stop. Yep, that's right--even though she was delivering a baby, she didn't stop cooking lunch.

Now that's what I call multitasking. If only I could cut the umbilical cord of a gooey newborn baby while basting the turkey and stirring the gravy that I will be feeding my family, then I might be able to get some things done.

Does anyone else think this violates some sort of health code?

Random crap like this happens all the time, not just in the home of a pregnant Massachusetts woman. And that's why I'm starting a new blog...a blog dedicated to the random crap that happens in my life and yours:

Like the other day, right after I read the article, I was sitting in a chair reading about "things white people like" when a bluetooth headset wearing business woman asked a chubby clerk to help her find a book of poetry. Sounds pretty normal, right? Well it would have been if he hadn't been wearing reindeer antlers on top of his bald head.

Or like woman who just dropped her garlic cheese Starbucks pretzel and let out a disappointed "ooohhh...." in the middle of the Barnes and Nobel cafe. Glad that wasn't me. She took it back and asked for a new one. The barista merrily obliged. I, on the other hand, would have just wiped it off and pleaded the 5 second rule. After all, if people can eat food with baby juice all over it, I can surely handle a little bookstore floor crud.